Finding the perfect match doesn’t start with your matchmaker or a dating app.

“The most successful search for your ideal partner begins within,” explains Kelleher International CEO, Amber Kelleher-Andrews. “Before sharing with your matchmaker that list of everything you want in a person, first consider how you want to feel in your relationship.”

Get clear on the core desired feelings you most want to feel within a romantic relationship.

Close your eyes and imagine being with your perfect match. What feelings do you conjure? Here are some examples to get you started: Ease, Joy, Support, Empowered, Love, Energized, Compassion, Peaceful, Playful, Desired, Desirous, Embraced, Appreciated. It’s your list, so there are no wrong answers.

If you struggle to make your list, here’s an exercise to help you get in the right headspace.

Recollect a time in your life that you felt immense love – for a person, a thing, a pet, an experience – and develop that memory. Make it colorful using your five senses until you’re enveloped in those feelings of love, appreciation, joy, etc. 

And then make it a practice to tune into that moment so you can experience those feelings as often as possible. This exercise happens in your head wherever you are, and nobody ever has to know. It’s just you and the experience you want to have. 

First thing in the morning before you roll out of bed – have the thought to feel those feelings. Standing in the checkout line or driving to work, replay the vision to trigger those positive emotions. Repeat often.

It’s important to note this exercise isn’t useful when you’re in a moment of low vibration – sad, scared, fearful, needy, distraught. For instance, you won’t find the feeling of relaxation during a stressful moment. You can’t feel peace in the middle of a knock-down-drag-out fight. You’ll experience more success when you actively practice this exercise when you’re already feeling good, confident, and positive. And the only person that can get you there is you.

Finding the perfect match requires positive energy and mental focus.

When you practice this exercise from that place of high vibration, you’re more aware and able to feel the feelings in your body – like the physical sensations of satisfaction, ease, and happiness. That’s key in getting what you want. 

And then as if it’s already happening, get excited for your perfect match to arrive! 

Look at life as your own indie film. Allow the space for you to realize your personal, artistic vision for the life you want to live. And remember that preconceived notions and judgments are sure to ruin the experience. 

When you practice those feel-good emotions enough, they will show up in your life.

Not because you’re looking for them or trying to be something different to get them. Instead, you’ll be so comfortable with the idea of experiencing your core desired feelings that they naturally show up in the easiest, most natural of ways.

When you do start going on dates with potential matches, acknowledge your core desired feelings in every interaction. 

How do you feel around your date? Which of your core desired feelings do they spark? This serves as an excellent barometer when finding the perfect match.

If you’ve done the work and are ready for love, give Kelleher International a call.

We’ve been finding the perfect match for our clients for over thirty years. And we’d be thrilled to help you find the one.