In the digital dating age, there seems to be some confusion as to why someone would use the “old school” method of finding love over the game-like, swipe-happy dating apps. In hopes of clearing up the mystery, the Kelleher International matchmakers are pulling back the proverbial curtain to explore the benefits of modern matchmaking.
- a person who arranges relationships and marriages between others, either informally or, in certain cultural communities, as a formal occupation.
- a person or company that brings parties together for commercial purposes.
“People don’t understand what goes on behind the scenes at a matchmaking firm like Kelleher International,” says KI Matchmaker Patty Russell. “Our objective is to make a difference in people’s love lives which can be a real challenge. Kelleher clients are successful and in control of most areas of their lives, but they hand over the reins to their romantic relationships to us. That’s a huge responsibility we don’t take lightly.”
Things to Know About Matchmaking and the Role of a Matchmaker:
Kelleher International matchmaker Ellen Shmunis explains, “Matchmaking is essentially recruiting for love. We spend the majority of our day making phone calls, emailing potential matches, and cross-referencing profiles and availability. Of course there are intuitive reasons why matchmakers make certain matches, but for the most part, our job consists of making sure two people are looking for the same things, have similar values, and are both available to meet each other.”
Matchmaker Pam Nolen adds, “We are sincere and devoted to helping our clients find love. That often means hours of searching, reviewing, and comparing to create a mindful match with potential.”
The Most Challenging Part of Matchmaking:
People have the tendency to get in their own way when it comes to finding love. Pam says, “A big part of our role as matchmakers is to consistently coach and encourage our clients to relax, stay open, and enjoy the process of meeting a new person.”
“The most challenging part of my job as a matchmaker,” Ellen adds, “ is when people aren’t truly ready for love. I notice when a client isn’t ready they find excuses to not go out with potential match ideas and are closed-off during the exploratory process. When they do go on a date, they often sabotage the experience and find a reason not to make it work which is incredibly frustrating especially when we’ve put hours of thought into the connection. It is critical for matchmaking clients to do their inner-work and make time to heal old wounds. True happiness begins within and provides a clean slate for discovering romantic love. Happy clients are, by far, easier to match!”
Rewards of Being a Matchmaker:
Ellen says, “Obviously the most rewarding part of being a matchmaker is helping two people find love! There’s no better feeling than when a client wants to explore a relationship with someone you’ve set them up with. A new client of mine was looking for someone with very particular qualities which can be a tall order to fill. I found who seemed like the perfect woman for him, but contemplated setting him up with a few different matches first to get a better gauge. In the end, I decided to go for it and set them up as his very first match, and they totally hit it off. They’ve been together ever since and are happily in love and moving in together. I couldn’t be more excited for them. This is the sort of thing that feels like winning the matchmaker lottery.”
Great matchmakers have a knack for guiding love connections that a client wouldn’t have chosen for themselves. Pam smiles, “I get so much satisfaction when I match clients together who don’t quite fit the description of who they told me they’re looking for and sparks fly. Love can be surprising and show up in unexpected ways that a matchmaker often senses in their gut. The “thank you’s” I receive from these matches when they get engaged and married are so joyful they warm my heart. ”
Help Your Matchmaker Help You:
Trust is a massive component of matchmaking. We develop close, personal relationships with our clients so that we can better understand where they come from, where they are now, and where it is they’re going. Asking probing questions helps us define the full scope of the situation and makes us better matchmakers. Pam explains, ”I immediately begin building a relationship with my clients. They need to know they can trust me knowing their insecurities, dreams, and desires. When you share those details with your matchmaker, you’ll get better matches every time.”
Ellen adds, “I want clients to know that we are always searching for them. Even if it’s been a few days or a few weeks without a phone call, we are constantly seeking matches. We never know when the perfect person will walk in the door, so we ask clients to remain patient with us and the Kelleher matchmaking process. Love is around the corner! In the meantime, patience is a virtue.”
Holding realistic expectations is also key to success. Matchmaker Erin Soskin says, “I wish clients knew that unrealistic expectations are their biggest downfall. Whether you’re paying for a matchmaker or swiping through dating apps, you can’t expect anyone you find to be perfect. As matchmakers, we aim to discover someone with which you’ll find shared happiness and connection. It may surprise you what “package” that presents in, what boxes that person does or doesn’t check, and the extra bonuses you get with radical acceptance of them as a whole person.”
Patty shares a supporting example, “I worked with a client who was unwilling to meet anyone unless they went to one of the top five universities in the country. She kept missing out on amazing, successful men because of her criteria. Once I convinced her to loosen up on the rigid educational benchmark, she did meet a fantastic man who was an entrepreneur with many successful start-up companies. The road to romance, love, and commitment is an amazing journey in that we don’t know how we are going to get there, but with the right attitude and openness your person will appear!”
Do you have questions about matchmaking and how it might work for you? Ask the Kelleher Matchmaking team in the comments section below. If you appreciate our insight, be sure to find and follow Kelleher International on Facebook and Twitter. We share daily tips and ideas for making the most out of your dating experience.