I don’t believe I can find the romantic relationship that I want.

Does that sound like your inner-voice? 

Doubting and dating don’t mix. Because when you’re doubting, you’re not ready. And when you’re not ready, the dating experiences you have will reflect that.

At Kelleher International matchmaking, we find it’s essential to get ready for love before you jump into the deep end of the dating pool.

“There is considerable evidence that consistent thought patterns influence your reality. Whether or not you’re living the reality you want is mostly up to you,” explains Kelleher International CEO, Amber Kelleher-Andrews. “If you don’t believe a romantic relationship can be a catalyst for joy in your life, then your odds of finding that epic love are slim. Unless you decide to change your mind.”

Frustration and non-clarity around romantic relationships won’t set you up for success. So we’re supposing you practice being happy in the absence of what you want. 

We encourage you to reframe dating as a time of freedom, adventure, and self-discovery. Trust and feel in your body that you can and will have what you want. And then get out there, enjoy life, and start dating.

This perspective shift is full of power. And if you can commit it to habit, it will change the way you show up in your everyday interactions. In turn, you’ll notice a massive shift in your relationship dynamics.

Don’t believe us? Try it.

Split energy is a dream crusher. It’s straddling the fence between what you want and your biggest fears. You see glimpses of what you want in those people you’re dating, but then the same old pattern emerges declaring your fear the victor. 

It’s a vicious cycle that erodes the excitement and optimism that you’ll ever find the romantic relationship that you want. So get clear on that perfect-for-you romantic relationship and keep your focus there. Stop giving air-time in your thoughts to those disruptive ideas of lack, separation, and loneliness. 

Below are thoughtful exercises you can do if you’re on the fence about the love in your life. Or whether or not the romantic relationship you want exists.

Exercise One: Say what you want out loud. 

Listen to how it sounds coming out of your mouth. Do you seem fearful or adventurous? Is it an expansive or selfish pursuit? 

Perhaps you’ll want to clean up your idea of how a happy, healthy, romantic relationship looks. Tweak your elevator pitch of love until your own words inspire you. If you don’t buy it, nobody else will. 

Exercise Two: Make a list of your core desired feelings.

Decide how you want to feel in life and your romantic relationship. Don’t focus on what you don’t want – to feel trapped, suffocated, or compromised. Instead, shift the lens to shine on the good stuff – I want love, momentum, financial abundance, companionship, stability, choices, freedom to be authentically me. 

Make your list a cozy nest of what living your best life means to you.

Exercise Three: Live your list.

Remember what we said about practicing happiness? If you make your core desired feelings from Exercise Two a priority in your life, then joy and living the fullness of life will become second-nature. That’s what it means to live with authenticity.

With a commitment to authenticity comes clarity. And with that clarity, you open yourself up to manifest epic love with a partner that complements your life. 

When you know what you want and how you want to feel, the wrong person for you will become clearer faster. 

Sure, you still might kiss a lot of frogs. But the process will be less painful and dramatic. And you’ll do so with grace until you finally lock lips with your storybook match.

If you have questions for the Kelleher matchmakers, leave us a message in the comments section below or send us a private email here.