As reality has shifted to a more tech centered world, and we are getting to know a romantic interest virtually there is a tendency towards oversharing. This is completely natural in times like these when we are a bit more isolated. When we do make an authentic connection we tend to really spew a bit. The typical reasons for this and the red flags that are associated with it are forgiven a bit more under the current circumstances.
Going slow and discovering the different facets of a person is always the best approach when starting a new relationship.
Leaving a bit of mystery and not putting it all out on the table in the first hour of a first date or a first virtual date is always preferable. The old days of courtship would reveal in a person over months what the first six texts exchanged between a possible romance does today. We’re not suggesting we go back a hundred years in our courtship rituals, but when we put the brakes on a bit we leave some space for discovery.
Discovery! What a concept. “The excitement that builds during the first few dates of a healthy relationship far outweighs the instant gratification of spilling our guts out on the first date”, says Amber Kelleher-Andrews, CEO of Kelleher International. “Especially now, when we are cooped up and alone for a few months. The tendency to overshare is even greater.”
We should definitely take our time on virtual dates. Restraint is a virtue in many instances.
We can still share the things that excite us and express the many layers of our personality. Being our most authentic selves and our most appropriate selves is a balancing act in the beginning. Quite frankly it’s always a balancing act.
And that’s the point. Balance. How do we strike the proper balance of sharing or overloading someone with our stories? How do we leave a bit to be desired, to be discovered? “It’s more of an art than a science”, Kelleher-Andrews continues. “The art of relationships, chemistry and seduction should always remain somewhat mysterious. If we know it all up front it kind of ruins all of the fun.”
Kelleher International has had some amazing successes in the virtual matching space over the past few months, but there is a learning curve for everyone.
This is new. It’s exciting and it’s different. Our coaching staff has had their plates full as we navigate this new terrain. We love what we do. We love partnering with you and discovering this together. We know that evolving relationship paradigms in this new world will be, not only exciting, but transformative. And we welcome the opportunity to take this journey with you.