How to Spot a Rebound with 4 Easy Tips from a Matchmaker

There is nothing worse in the dating world than finding the perfect person only to discover he or she just ended a serious relationship and is not quite ready to move on. The conversation might be wonderful, they might be extremely talented, and your future goals might align perfectly – but if your date is still pining over “happier times” when the so-called “love of their life” was still around, the relationship might still be doomed to failure before it’s even begun. The experts at Kelleher International screen prospective matches carefully not only for compatibility, but also for mental and emotional availability. There is no way to guarantee a date is open to a new relationship, but a professional matchmaking service can certainly tip the odds in your favor.

Why rebound?

There is a lot of discussion on the topic of rebound relationships, but the general consensus is that the person in question is simply readjusting into the world of being single. Perhaps they have always had a boyfriend or girlfriend; finding themselves alone after so long can be a harrowing and intimidating process. Conversely, perhaps this person feels extremely ready to be single, but isn’t quite sure how to make the transition in a productive way. Seeking a rebound relationship is a natural, albeit counterproductive, step in romantic relationships.

How to Spot a Rebound.

The rebounding date is not difficult to spot. Look for these signs to discover if your date is ready for a committed relationship or if they are simply looking for an introduction back to single life:

Talking about exes. If your date finds a way to bring the conversation back to his or her ex regardless of context, this is a confirmed sign of unresolved emotional attachment.

Generalizing. Bitterness is one of the most unattractive qualities a person can possess, and this becomes amplified when these bitter feelings are generalized to an entire gender. Comments like, “all women are crazy” or “men just want to sleep around” are not only inaccurate, but also highly offensive. If these (or similar) phrases are part of your date’s vocabulary, he or she clearly still has some growing up to do.

Keeping mementos. Your date might still have his ex’s photo hiding in his wallet or she might still wear the necklace he got for her birthday last year. At first this might seem innocent and your date might try to cover up by saying it was simply an accident, but we all know what’s going on here. Don’t be fooled: your date is on the rebound.

Reminiscing. Moving forward with a new relationship requires a certain amount of living in the present. If your date’s head is stuck in his or her past with someone else, it becomes more difficult to build new, happy memories with you. This step is natural when a relationship ends, but should be kept to a minimum if your date is truly serious about starting something with someone new.

What now?

Now that you know your date is still in the process of reintegrating to life without their ex, the big question is: do you stay and try to work it out or leave this person to sort out their feelings before moving on with someone else?

There is no answer to fit every situation. Some people really do move on quickly, especially if their previous relationship was unsatisfying or took a long time to end. Other people need additional time to recover from a breakup regardless of the relationship’s actual duration. Play things by ear and understand that you and your date might not be on the same page immediately. Ask yourself whether you are willing to take that risk or if you are able to serve as your date’s shoulder to cry on – for now, at least.

There are no guarantees in love just as there are no one-size-fits-all answers to life. Matchmaking services like Kelleher International help avoid awkward situations like becoming “the rebound” by pairing you with an equally compatible (and relationship-ready) single, so the guesswork is taken out of the equation. If you do find yourself in this precarious situation, however, it is best to recognize you are taking a risk, listen to your heart, and act in good faith. Contact a Kelleher International dating service representative today for more information about starting a new relationship – and leaving your exes where they belong: in the past!