At Kelleher International one of the biggest challenges we face as matchmakers is helping clients trust in timing. We understand the sense of urgency many feel when it comes to finding love. But urgency is oftentimes a product of fear or a lack-mentality. Both of which are a disservice when you’re looking for love.
So if you’ve ever told your friends that you’re sick and tired of waiting around for this guy or girl, consider this:
An energetic pattern of highs and lows emerges among singles seeking love on a timetable. Extreme excitement and anticipation are frequently followed by fear and anxiety. This rollercoaster pattern will continue until you allow and trust in timing. As matchmakers, it is our responsibility to point out these inconsistencies and help you find peace in the process.
“When you’re searching for love it is so important to spend as much time looking in as you do looking out,” explains Amber Kelleher-Andrews, CEO of Kelleher International. “Finding consistency in feeling good on your own begins to bring the fun back to the dating and matchmaking process. And it certainly makes you more attractive to potential matches.”
Life isn’t predictable, smooth, or easy. So grace and grit are two of the most valuable traits to develop and arm yourself with when finding love. There are going to be twists and turns and times of feeling like you’re waiting for someone to choose you. When you find yourself in the thick of that, consciously choose yourself and get active doing something you love.
“New clients are excited for a connection right away,” explains Kelleher matchmaker Nilda Herald. “And sometimes that happens, but it can also be like finding a needle in the haystack. So patience and optimism are your secret weapon! When you do meet someone interesting remember that an authentic relationship takes time. Don’t be afraid to let it develop slowly. Hot and heavy attraction can fizzle out as quickly as it’s sparked.”
Learn to hold on loosely to the things you want and love. And be willing to let go of the things that aren’t serving you.
Sometimes the best way to express an idea is to share anecdotal evidence of it in action. Below is the summary of an exchange between a Kelleher client and her matchmaker highlighting the importance of putting your trust in timing.
Client: I’ve waited for two months to meet this guy. I’m tired of waiting. I’m done.
Matchmaker Nahla: It is unfortunate it has taken so long to get together. I can feel the utter frustration from you, and I understand. I know you’re annoyed and don’t want to hear me say this, but please be a bit more patient with him.
He is working hard and running himself ragged. That’s not your problem, I know. But you asked for an ambitious, driven, hard worker and that he is. I know he’s on overload with work as he and I have talked about it. He is worth the wait, and he will follow through when he’s well.
He has integrity and aligns with what you want. I know you’re turned off at this point, but maybe if you can – little by little – let the frustration subside and allow the two of you to connect in perfect time. You’ll see he was worth the wait.
I have learned to trust my intuition around things, and if I felt we should throw in the towel, I would support you. But my gut says let’s hang on a bit longer.
Note: Five days later the match happens, and they meet.
Client: OMG, what an absolutely incredible date! I really, really enjoyed meeting him. He seems too good to be true. Now, how do I keep him?
Since the client willingly chose to trust in timing, she enjoyed a fantastic experience. If she had thrown in the towel, she would’ve robbed herself of a potentially incredible connection.
A single choice to relax into the matchmaking process can make all of the difference in the world.
We encourage you to drop your punch list of expectations and timing. The ones who show up best on dates have ease and confidence about them. And that comes from relaxing into the flow and finding your trust in timing.
