The Relationship Rule Book

Relationships don’t come with instruction manuals, but thanks to science – and the talent at our expert matchmaking agency – we have a pretty good idea of what people are looking for. Whether you’re single and looking for ideas to prepare yourself for budding romance or a seasoned relationship veteran, these quick tips can help you understand what the opposite sex is looking for in a partner.

Love Unconditionally

Relationships are messy. Your partner is a person too. They try to put their best foot forward but can occasionally make mistakes or fail. Part of any successful relationship is being there for your partner even when things get stressful. Success grows from a nurturing environment and your love can directly impact your partner’s achievements.

Show Gratitude

It’s easy to take your partner for granted after many months – or years – together. Some marriage counselors recommend couples keep gratitude journals where they list three things their partner did that day that they appreciate. There is a great deal of research that suggests a connection between expressing gratitude and improving personal relationships.

Listen Actively

There is a big difference between passive and active listening. Passive listening involves paying attention to what is said without giving any external indication that a message has been received. Active listening requires the listener to engage the speaker with verbal or non-verbal cues that could include restating what was said, nodding, or asking follow-up questions.

Be Kind

Research shows kindness can actually make people appear more physically attractive to those around them. You can use this to your advantage by volunteering for a cause you care about, such as the World Wildlife Fund, Habitat for Humanity or a conservancy group. Use Charity Navigator to double check your favorite charities and verify the way their funds are used. Remember to show kindness to your partner, too!

Embrace Spontaneity

Random acts of kindness go a long way – especially in relationships. Think of what your partner values and try to plan events or small gifts that would be meaningful. These thoughtful acts will help your date see you as someone who is generous and fun to be around.

Flash a Smile

study from the Scott Roberts School of Psychology at the University of Bern, Switzerland, indicates that the magnitude of your smile is directly correlated with your level of perceived attractiveness. If that’s enough of a reason to smile, also consider that laughing is associated with many health benefits, including stress reduction. Relationships flourish when both partners are happy and relaxed.

Pay Off Promises

Use promises the same way you would use a credit card. As a general rule, it’s smart to charge only what you know you can pay back. First-time credit card users often stick with small charges paid off frequently to build up their credit. Over time, they are able to grow their expenses and pay off larger charges. Similarly, you should start with small trust-building exercises to create a solid foundation in your relationship. Work your way up to larger and larger promises as you are able to keep them. Maybe someday you will work your way up to the most important promise of all: wedding vows.

Scent-ual Experiences

Pheromones play a large role in attracting a mate, so if you’re in a long-term relationship, chances are biology is already working in your favor. An interesting study from the Social Issues Research Centre suggests that vanilla could also help couples connect by eliciting happy memories from childhood. Vanilla has also been proven to reduce anxiety during stressful situations.

Red Hot

The University of Rochester performed a groundbreaking study that indicates men are more attracted to women who wear the color red. Similarly, studies on hospitality industries indicate that waitresses who wear red receive higher tips from male patrons. Our matchmakers suspect this power color could work for men, too. There is no doubt that red is a romantic color and it comes in shades that are complementary to every skin tone and social function.


There is no better way to tell your partner that you support them than by maintaining a positive attitude and offering constructive advice when they need it. Pay attention when your partner speaks and look for opportunities to point out your date’s strengths or situations where others relied on them to make important decisions. This will help boost your partner’s self-esteem so they can pay more attention to you, too.

Get a handle on your love life by mastering the basics first. This knowledge will help you impress your date and maintain a happy relationship for many years to come. Are you ready to practice these concepts in your own life? Contact us today and discover better quality relationships.