In last week’s post, Kelleher International discussed some of the ways that couples inadvertently sabotage their relationships early on in the romance. In the first stage of any relationship, it can be easy to get so overwhelmed and excited by the romance that you are tricked into thinking that things will remain perfect forever. However, without doing the necessary groundwork, any relationship can easily fall apart after the “honeymoon phase” fades away.
This week, we list even more major mistakes that men and women make while dating, so that you can avoid them and make that spark last even longer. When you first start dating someone, avoid the following mistakes:
Forgetting To Savor The Moment
We have all heard of couples who move from the honeymoon phase of a new relationship to the “old married couple phase” within a matter of weeks. These couples are missing out on one of the best parts about dating: the part where you get to know each other and enjoy meeting new relationship milestones together. While it may be silly to make a big deal of your first date, your first shared vacation or your first big romantic moment together, it is still important to cherish these moments since they cannot be replicated again. Instead of moving too fast and skipping straight to the end, enjoy the ride together and slow down enough to appreciate this early stage of the romance.
Obsessing Over The Future
Of course, everyone has their own dreams and fantasies of the future. When it comes to love, those dreams usually involve buying a house, getting married, having kids, growing old together, and so on. These are certainly incredibly important things to discuss with your partner at some point before the relationship gets too serious, but these “weighty” conversations can easily wait a few months until you have had time to grow comfortable with one another in a stable and healthy partnership.
Compromising All The Time
You may be tempted to sacrifice time spent with friends or on a personal hobby in order to spend all of your spare time with your partner. However, it is altogether too easy for one person to make all of the compromises in the relationship and end up feeling resentful toward their partner for making them give up so much. This behavior is not limited solely to the sacrifice of one’s time or hobbies, as it can also be seen when one partner switches jobs, breaks a lease or stops hanging out with old friends in order to meet the needs of the other person. While it is accepted that long-term couples can make these big sacrifices for one another (such as moving to a new place for the other person’s work), it is unhealthy for people in new relationships to do so. Save major compromises for when the relationship has become durable and robust enough to survive.
It is also unfair to expect your new love interest to compromise solely on their end. Do not make your partner choose between their hobbies, friends, job or home in order to meet your needs. Remember that these are things that existed before the relationship began and will continue to exist afterwards, so their importance may outrank yours in the beginning of the relationship
Ignoring Warning Signs
While it may be easy to ignore major flaws in the relationship early on in the hopes that you can change your partner or “fix” the romance, at the later stages of the relationship it is better to call it quits rather than waste so much time and energy with an unhealthy relationship that inevitably fails.
No relationship is perfect, though yours may seem that way in the beginning. What are your tips for prolonging the magic of your relationship? Please let us know in the comments!
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