Star Quality

This week’s Kelleher International blog is by CEO Amber Kelleher-Andrews.

Sir Richard Branson recently accepted his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and I was happy to be there for the celebration. Richard has been a philanthropic mentor and collaborative partner of mine for years and has inspired countless entrepreneurs and artists to take the leap toward building their dreams.

The entrepreneur and music executive behind the Virgin brands was joined by Lance Bass and Ben Harper — two of the musicians who signed early on to his independent Virgin record label. They spoke of the influence Richard had on both their careers and lives.

Participating in Richard Branson’s Walk of Fame experience got me to thinking about star-quality on a broader scale. Is it a have or have not trait? Or is star-quality something we can all grow and nurture and use to our benefit in life and love?

As an eternal optimist, philanthropist, and matchmaker, I like to believe we can nurture those magnetic qualities that create ground-swelling change in our personal and professional lives. You might not have the money and access of Richard Branson, but energy fuels presence and charisma  – not cash – and you can hone those skills for free. And I think you owe it to yourself to give it a shot!

I want you to ignite your inner-star.

We are all born with an abundance of energy and a zest for life. However, without working to stay present and engaged it can dull as we encounter setbacks, losses, broken hearts, and bruised egos. Don’t you want that youthful energy back? It will make such a difference in your dating life or relationship.

When things aren’t great in our lives, we sometimes tend to fall off the radar. We feel lazy, uninspired, and too tired to engage in a meaningful, conscious way. Retreating from your healthy energy during those not-so-great times can look like many things. Have you sat next to the person in a meeting with slumped shoulders, crossed-arms, and shallow breathing? It’s as if they’re sucking the energy out of the room. What about the guy at the party who talks the loudest, barks lewd jokes, and makes bold declarations to the entire group? That energy is both invasive and off-putting.

How we show up matters. Our energy is contagious. If you always remember to take responsibility for the energy you bring into a room or situation, then you’re set up for success in life and love.

So what can you do to reconnect with your energy and channel it positively on a first date or for that big presentation coming up?

One of the fundamental things to do is focus on your breathing. Let it be a deep and calming sensation. Feel your body move with the rhythm of your breath and focus on the wave of energy building so you can harness it when you’re ready. Before speaking, take a sweet, deep breath in, and rather than exhaling your breath, let your verbal message release at that moment. All of your energy and momentum will be behind your words. It is a powerful exercise and exudes confidence.

Coupled with your breathing, maintaining good posture and lifting your chest adds to the positivity of your presence. When speaking, preserve eye contact to form an authentic connection. If you’re presenting to a group, this same rule applies. Alternate the connected gaze from one member of the group to the next. Listen with your eyes and be open to letting the connection drive the dialogue.

The last thing I’ll leave you with is that to embody your star quality you can’t force anything. Don’t force a conversation that isn’t flowing. Don’t cram another meeting into a day when you haven’t even had lunch. Don’t force a connection because you’re tired of looking for Mr. Right.

Star quality is in the flow! Let your authenticity, curiosity and your open heart guide you to the right people, places, and things in your life. Learn to enjoy the beauty in all of the moments – the good, the bad, and the ugly – don’t wait for your Hollywood star to live your best life. You’ve got all the shine you need. It’s up to you to channel it.

I’d love to hear from you. What will you do to nurture your star quality and show up with confidence on your next date or while presenting your big ideas?


Amber Kelleher-Andrews