Kelleher International Blog

Deal Breakers and Looking for Love

Sharing dating stories is a great way to showcase our matchmaking style here at Kelleher International while highlighting common issues that arise for singles looking for love.

Note: Names are changed to protect client privacy.

Dina had been on three dates through Kelleher International before meeting John. She was open on many things, but height was her dealbreaker. Being 5’9, she desired someone at least 6-feet tall. Height issues are a common concern when it comes to dating and finding the one.. 

As matchmakers, we know firsthand that deal breakers often rule out great potential candidates when someone is looking for love. 

“Must-haves and deal breakers are common when singles looking for love turn to our matchmaking services,” says Kelleher International CEO, Amber Kelleher-Andrews. “As matchmakers, we help clients navigate these lists and become less rigid around superficial requirements. But, it’s also our responsibility to present potential matches that satisfy their criteria.”

Part of our job as matchmakers is to continually network and ask for referrals when we meet dynamic people.

Expanding our network helps us navigate the requirements of clients looking for love. It also helps us hone our matches by keeping clients top-of-mind. 

Kelleher matchmaker, Nahla Grafer, had done just that seeking someone special for Dina. Months prior, Nahla was referred to a great guy named John, but he was moving and traveling a ton for work. The timing just wasn’t in alignment – he wasn’t yet looking for love.

Nahla was reminded again of John and checked back in on him. This time, he was ready to chat and excited about matchmaking. 

To get a feel for John’s situation, personality, relationship goals, and pertinent details, matchmaker Nahla spent over an hour FaceTiming with him. They also discussed Dina and their similarities, her background, career, education, lifestyle choices, and demeanor. 

“They were such a good match,” explains Nahla. “John was super cute with a great personality. I saw so many points of alignment between he and Dina. By the end of the call he was interested in going on a date with her. The only problem – he didn’t meet her height requirement.” 

“So now it was my turn to present John to Dina,” Nahla continues. “I started by acknowledging her dealbreaker on height. Dina was so open beyond that one sticking point. I assured her that I would not be presenting this guy if I didn’t feel in my heart that he could be a great match.”  

Dina agreed to hear Nahla out though her sigh was audible when Nahla announced John was only one inch taller than her. But Nahla enthusiastically powered through the other significant points of connection, including the proximity in age, shared Canadian roots, same career field, similar education, and interests. Dina was excited by everything else she heard.

Nahla adds, “I encouraged her to meet him, hold no attachments, and allow herself to be pleasantly surprised. She agreed. And I passed her phone number onto John.”

The synchronicities began soon after they exchanged numbers and started texting.

The two were traveling for business and unbeknownst to each, were both in the Toronto airport at the same time in route to NYC. They were texting on their respective flights before takeoff. And the guy next to John spilled his drink on a fellow passenger. John described to Dina what was happening, and she responded that she’d received the same info in a text from the guy who spilled the drink! They were both blown away by the small world moment. They then discovered the guy John had a work dinner with the evening prior is a colleague of Dina. These synergistic moments happened before John and Dina ever met in person.

The day before their first date, John checked in to make sure they were still on to meet.

He had a Plan A, and a Plan B. Plan A was a restaurant they both frequented with good food, a cool vibe, and central to their locations. John mentioned to Dina that Plan B was a restaurant that he’d been dying to try. Dina didn’t tell him, but it was a place she too had wanted to explore. Plan A fell through due to a 2-hour waitlist, so they went on to Plan B.

“Dina told me she was secretly hoping that’s where they’d end up,” says Nahla. “She was delighted they shared their first date exploring a new place they both wanted to try.” 

During the post-date feedback calls with John and Dina, Nahla received very similar responses from both clients.

“They both gave similar feedback almost using the same verbiage; it was uncanny. They reported the conversation never stopped and flowed with ease. The two realized their families live 30-minutes from each other and that they personally live in buildings next to each other. They even know a lot of the same work people and are very familiar with each other’s jobs. John couldn’t believe they’d never run into each other before.” 

Dina told Nahla that John did everything right – from taking her coat, to ordering the wine, and sharing their food. They discovered a shared, active lifestyle, a love for skiing, and both are seasoned travelers. Essentially, they checked off each other’s boxes except for Dina’s ONE thing – height.

When Nahla followed-up on that dealbreaker, Dina responded that John was everything she’d asked for except for his height, but she could deal with it. 

This time it was Nahla who let out a sigh.

“It was a huge sigh of relief! I was expecting her to tell me she couldn’t get past his height. But, in the end, they both agreed it was a great connection and scheduled date number two.”

As matchmakers helping singles looking for love, it’s a delicate balance of respecting the list of must-haves along with the dealbreakers.

Nahla initially contemplated not presenting John to Dina because of the feedback on the previous three matches. But in the end, it’s ultimately better to present a potential match and get a “no” rather than not present at all and wonder if you missed an opportunity to make love happen.

Dina’s willingness to be open and trust the process paved the way for her to be pleasantly surprised.

“I was confident that in the end there was enough in alignment that worse case they’d each have a pleasant time together and make a new friend,” explains Nahla. “But it turned out even better than that. And I look forward to seeing how this match unfolds.”

What about you?

If you’re feeling stuck looking for love, consider calling Kelleher International matchmaking. We’ll explore what you’re looking for, where you live, and determine if you’re a great candidate for our executive search services for your love life.