Let’s Be Candid

As matchmakers, we fill our Mondays with friendly chats about your weekend activities and how your date (or dates) went. These post-date follow-up calls are a critical component of finding your match. Part of the art of matchmaking is following a hunch based on what we know about a person or perhaps something we heard them say in passing. It’s reading between the lines and following our gut instinct. So to successfully find your match, our edge comes from you providing thoughtful feedback throughout the process.

Articulating as much as you can about your feelings in various situations throughout the date and your overall impressions and takeaways about the person with which we matched you is one of the most important ways you can help us help you.

“Working with a matchmaker is a unique situation and so are the conversations we share,” says Kelleher International Matchmaker Molly Davis. “Forget political correctness with us – we need that glimpse into your thought process to understand what does and does not appeal to you. And don’t worry; we’ve heard it all, and there are no judgments. We hope you can trust us enough to be completely candid. It requires some vulnerability, but frankness is what allows us to serve you best.”

At Kelleher confidentiality is standard practice so we encourage clients to tell us like it is and be forthcoming with personal information that might affect matches. Kelleher matchmaker Patty Russell explains, “Feedback is the most important part of the matchmaking process, and since all feedback is confidential we encourage members to be as candid as possible. Be completely honest about what worked and what didn’t on the match so we can adjust in the right direction and get closer to what you’re looking for. Specifics are the key. Sometimes you might like so many things about someone, but not be attracted to them physically. We need you to articulate the things on both your pros and cons list. We document and save these details to your profile. Our matchmaking team references these critical notes when exploring you for a potential match with their client.”

Each date gives new feedback which helps us peel back the onion layer by layer. Patty adds, “Even though clients always let us know what their criteria are in the beginning, new things come up with each introduction that we should’ve known from the get-go. If you’re the type that gets uncomfortable dishing out the personal details my suggestion is to visualize us as an extension of your best friend. We’re searching for your perfect match, so we need you to tell us everything.”

Sometimes clients feel like a jerk at first being so frank with their feedback regarding dates. “That’s a natural reaction, but it’s a necessary process,” Matchmaker Erin Soskin says. “No one should feel like a jerk sharing details about something they didn’t enjoy on their date. And if we continue to get the same feedback about a particular person, then it’s something we can address and work through with them. People come to us for help finding their future partner, if there is anything that may be standing in the way of that, most are more than willing to hear that thoughtful feedback and receive compassionate coaching to move through it.”

You have so much to gain from providing thoughtful feedback to your matchmaker. Erin explains, “Giving feedback is a reflective process. Many people are unsure on a date, or even after a date how they feel about seeing someone again. It isn’t until clients make time to reflect, either through our standard email form or talking it out with us directly that they can make a decision that fills them with confidence rather than doubt.”

At Kelleher Matchmaking our classic human touch offers those looking for love a targeted approach with a hand to hold through the journey. Good or bad we always want to hear how your date went so take advantage of the feedback process while your memories are still fresh.

Remember, the more we know, the better we are at finding your one.

If you’re not a Kelleher client but are feeling the woes of being single and dating in the digital age, we encourage you to explore matchmaking. Call or email us here.