How to Be a Gentleman

Many people believe that chivalry is dead. Indeed, it seems that the quintessential gentleman exemplified in the likes of Cary Grant and James Bond was left behind in a past era. However, just because it is hard to find a gentleman does not mean that they do not exist. Guys, take note, women love men who behave like gentlemen, and this article will give you some pointers to set you well ahead of the curve.

Step 1: Arrive on time. If this were an interview for a job you would be sure to arrive five minutes early, well-prepared and ready to go. Deciding on a partner to share your life with is far more important than a job, so be punctual. If an emergency arrives that will make you tardy, call (do not text) her to let her know.

Step 2: Be hygienic. This rule does not just apply when going on dates, but at all times. Never leave your home without brushing your teeth and hair, applying a fresh coat of deodorant and quick spray of cologne and washing your face and hands. If a potential girlfriend notices dirty fingernails or un-brushed teeth, she may feel concerned that you are unable to take care of yourself and imagine that you will need reminders to keep up with basic hygiene.

Step 3: Be confident and classy. When we think about confident men, usually two images come to mind. The first is of the overly-cocky macho male who will order a salad for his date, and no, she does not want any dressing. This kind of arrogant dominant male type is one that many women avoid when choosing a life partner. The second kind is confident in his abilities, but does not brag about them. This kind of guy is honest, self-aware and comfortable in his own skin. Be that guy.

Step 4: Engage in conversation. Keep the dialogue between you and your date rolling with good questions and listen to her answers. A good conversationalist does not just let an awkward silence roll over the dinner table, but rather maintains momentum and keeps the dialogue flowing. Avoid too many questions and closed-statements, and always favor the other person speaking while you listen with rapt attention. There is no formula for a good conversation – this is something that comes when you are wholeheartedly involved in speaking with and listening to the other person.

Step 5: Play the part. There are several gestures that will convey your sophistication and chivalry to your date. These include, but are not limited to:

  • Pick up the check always and without hesitation. The modern lady may not think twice about splitting the check, but the gentleman in you should. Though some condemn the behavior of picking up the tab as archaic and patronizing, many relationship experts agree that most women will not see it this way and will instead be impressed. (Of course, if she wants to treat you from time to time, that is okay as well).
  • Open doors for her. These include the car door, cab door, restaurant door, etc.
  • Treat the staff well. This applies to anywhere you and your date visit. Tip appropriately and discreetly, and always treat those serving you with respect.
  • Enter a cab or restaurant booth first. Though it may seem more proper to let her in first, a woman wearing a skirt or dress will appreciate it if you do not make her scoot to the other side of the seat.
  • Offer your arm: This is a classy alternative to holding hands that reveals your sophistication.
  • Put away your phone during dates and avoid glancing at it or your watch, as these gestures convey boredom and impatience.

The art of being a gentleman is not lost, however, the fact that many men are ignorant of it will work quite well in your favor. Keep these tips in mind on your next date and you are sure to leave a good impression.