Singles in the modern dating culture seem to run hot or cold when it comes to finding love. As matchmakers, we notice how challenging it is for most singles to adopt a consistently positive outlook on their dating life. And, we get it! It’s tough out there.
We believe there is a way to get off of the dating roller coaster but stay at the amusement park.
It all comes down to your ability to make yourself happy. When you’re dialed in there, the occasional date with a “clown” can be a funny story you share with friends at happy hour rather than the disastrous event that takes down your entire week.
Singles with a lot of couple friends often feel even more alone in their singledom. Many perceive themselves as the third or fifth wheel on a night out. But the truth is everyone questions their self-worth whether they’re single or in a relationship. This doubt is a very human condition, and it’s at the core of our modern dating issues. Worthiness is a critical component in you being happy and finding love. Consider this matchmaking and coaching insight to set you up for success.
Everyone questions their worth and lovability when a relationship fails or after a series of terrible dates or when being stood up by someone you were so excited about.
It’s natural to feel bad, and you should absolutely let yourself feel that for a moment – but don’t dwell there. It’s important to quickly make strides to reconnect with your worthiness and find your way back to happy. Because happiness is the secret sauce for success in meeting your match.
We are all energy flowing, and we’re each responsible for the vibes we put out into the world. How do you feel before a date? Are you excited and pumped up or complaining to a friend that you wish you could bail and hang out in your comfy clothes watching NETFLIX with your dog instead? Whatever vibe you’re feeling tags along on your date.
You won’t be a good match for anybody until you can take responsibility for your personal happiness and the energy you bring to any given situation.
Happy, confident people are magnetic; we’ve all experienced the truth of it – that person who lights up the room when they enter and whose smile radiates authenticity. We’re drawn to them! As a single person, if you can bring that dynamic energy to your dating life, you will be a magnet for love and companionship.
Another critical thing to remember is that we can’t love and not be loveable and still expect a relationship to develop. Modern dating has many singles leary to let their guard down. But a relationship is never going to take off – much less thrive – if you aren’t ready and capable of receiving the same love and attention that you’re willing to give.
Do you struggle with accepting compliments and kind words? Are you cynical when you get “buying signals” from your date that they’re into you? As difficult as it might seem, work on softening into the uncertainty and be willing to take a chance. Let your guard down. Sure, it’s scary, but that’s where the magic happens. The ones who find a home in the heart of another chose to open up and let love in. It’s a critical decision that only you can make.
Here are a few notes from – or about – Kelleher matchmaking clients who were once jaded by modern dating, but worked with us to find their way to personal happiness and dating confidence.
This one is for all you women who think you’re too much. Too bold. Too sure of yourself, what you want, and what you offer. You are none of those things… you are juuuust right for your perfect person.
Pretense seems to fall away with her. She knows what she wants. She knows what her values are. She knows the love and affection she has to offer. And she doesn’t try to tamp down any of that. I have to say I’m pretty swept up by it. I’ve never met a woman who lives out loud like that. -M.B.
This is for all of you ladies who don’t think there are any good guys still in the dating pool.
Nahla, I do think you “get” me, and I really respect that you found such a terrific guy for my first experience. It actually restores my faith that “good guys” do exist. -C.B
Don’t forget, it’s about getting you ready emotionally and mentally to meet your match!
A huge thank you for getting me to a place where I both know and recognize what I’m looking for an am able to present myself with confident, positive energy that she seems to be responding well to! -T.N.
When you can get there – happy, present, and open to both giving and receiving love – you’re primed to meet your match! If you need some help or want a hand to hold along the way, reach out to us at Kelleher International and learn more about our matchmaking and coaching services.
Until then, happy dating!