Do You Need a Dating Strategy?

Some people need a dating strategy.

Last week our Kelleher International matchmakers highlighted the importance of embodying the qualities you want in a mate; a solid dating strategy can give you the space to do that.

Matchmaking services are a great fit for singles struggling with their overall approach to dating. While a KI matchmaker is searching for client connections, we often suggest singles explore non-dating activities to prepare them for those potential matches.

“Dating shouldn’t be a miserable experience,” explains Kelleher International CEO, Amber Kelleher-Andrews. “If you’re dissatisfied with your current dating encounters, I encourage you to examine your dating strategy and the energy you bring to each interaction.”

The key to a good dating strategy is discovering how to be comfortable outside your comfort zone.

Do you get sweaty palms just thinking about exiting your comfort zone? Many non-dating activities can provide a platform to boost your confidence and calm your nerves in typically uncomfortable situations.

If you have trouble with small talk, a great dating strategy might include signing up for a speaking circle or local Toastmasters group. Practicing extemporaneous speaking can do wonders for conversational skill building.

If you struggle with negative storytelling and dating confidence, meditation can be a gift. If you typically resist getting still, focusing on your breath, and exploring your mind, consider using a guided meditation app. There are paid or free meditation apps to get you started. A good dating strategy always includes moments of mindfulness.

Training for a marathon or other sports activity is a great way to create consistency and accountability, two more keys to a solid dating strategy,” says Kelleher matchmaker Lizzy Solomon.

Showing up to a place you’ve never been can make some people anxious. Make a habit of regularly trying something new as part of your overall dating strategy. Build in outings to new restaurants, museums, pop-ups, festivals, markets and more. Get comfortable exploring new places and things. The ones you love will become great date suggestions you can add to your arsenal.

Shaking up your approach to dating also means developing a hopeful and happy mindset around meeting someone new.

If you’ve become jaded by past dating experiences, you’re quite possibly showing up on dates with prejudices.

A great dating strategy to combat preconceived notions is to talk to strangers regularly. Practice making small talk with people in line at the grocery store. And if you’re dining alone, sit at the bar or a community table and engage with the people around you. Allow yourself the space to be pleasantly surprised by the interaction.

Becoming a confident dater doesn’t mean you have to double-down on the number of dates you go on each week.

There are so many more non-dating things you can try – beyond what we shared here – to boost your dating strategy without burning you out on the experience.

What are some things you do to hone your dating skills and mindset? We’d love to hear from you in the comments section below. Or send us a private message here.