Kelleher International Blog

Develop Data-Free Dating Habits

Dating habits in the digital age create an environment for informational gluttony.

Just like we can over-consume food and calories. We can also consume too much information. And that can be a bad thing when you’re dating.

The global commoditization of our individual information sparked a discussion among the Kelleher matchmakers over the use of personal data in finding love. And the bad dating habits that informational gluttony can develop.

Have you watched the new NETFLIX documentary, The Great Hack? If not, do! Personal data is the new oil. Information makes us more valuable and vulnerable. And when it comes to creating healthy dating habits, it’s essential to keep in mind the pace at which you both share and mine for information on potential matches.

Kelleher matchmaker Nahla Grafer explains, “You need to know enough to get excited but not so much that you draw conclusions about the match before you meet.”

We think singles in the Information Age should explore the informational diet.

Mystery is part of the magic of meeting someone new. Stalking a potential match online or having a long pre-first date call is the exact opposite of that. And it leads to premature storytelling and conclusion jumping that can ruin a connection before you even have the chance to meet.

A 2016 Cornell University study reported that 93% of women only swipe right on profiles they find attractive. While 33% of men said they “casually like most profiles” even when they aren’t attracted to the person. (That statistic alone should help you ladies dial back the recon until after you’ve met this potential suitor in real life!)

Too much data can get in the way of discovering someone new.

“So many clients come to us overwhelmed by their digital dating experience,” says Kelleher International CEO, Amber Kelleher-Andrews. “The app dating process can feel like drinking from a fire hose – especially when you’re already leading a very active life. Sifting through dating profiles on multiple apps and then cross-referencing social profiles and googling the ones you like for more clues is a time suck. And it can certainly take the fun and mystery out of finding love.”

Matchmaking is an alternative to the digital dating scene and provides you an opportunity to stop data mining for love. 

At Kelleher International, each client is assigned a matchmaker, client liaison, and scout to provide a truly unique and personalized service. We do the searching, so you don’t have to.

When we find potential matches for our Kelleher clients, we encourage a brief call only to arrange the details of the date. Our experience is that less is more leading up to that first face-to-face meeting.

What are the implications of knowing too much too soon?

“When clients dig for more information on a potential match, they create their own story which sometimes ruins the introduction,” says Patty Russell, Kelleher matchmaker.

As matchmakers, it’s our job to gather information and vet the match amongst our team before presenting to you. The ideal scenario is one that includes trust on both sides. You believe in our ability to strategically present matches. And our trust that you’re working on kicking those bad dating habits and leaning into our offline process.

“Each client has their unique criteria. We try to come very close to what they want, but that hangs in the balance of the first date because it really is all about chemistry,” Patty adds. “A good analogy that comes to mind is deciding to visit a new country. You’ve read about it, seen pictures, watched videos, and have preconceived notions of the experience you’ll have there. But when you finally visit in real life, you discover fascinating things you never noticed while researching.”

When it comes to dating, the info diet really frees you up to enjoy the actual experience. And it helps magnify the perspective that meeting new people is one of life’s adventures, regardless if it is a romantic fit. 

There are some data-free dating habits your Kelleher matchmaker would love to see you embrace. Be open to the process, be present on dates, learn new things about yourself, and have fun!

Developing healthy dating habits around data is key to having a consistently positive experience. By not knowing too much too soon, you provide yourself with the space to be in the moment with no expectations. And that’s where you’ll ultimately find yourself pleasantly surprised.

Kelleher International challenges you to try this less is more approach to data in dating. If you have questions, we’re here to help. Leave questions for our team of matchmakers in the comments section below.