By Danielle Andrews
Table of Contents
Love is not about finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
Sam Keen
This powerful quote beautifully sums up what it takes to build and maintain a long-term relationship. Sustaining a happy and healthy relationship over time doesn’t have to be filled with grand gestures or dramatic declarations. Often, it’s the smaller, overlooked habits that are the lifeblood of deep and enduring love.
If you’re in a long-term relationship (or seeking one), this guide reveals some seemingly small things that make an enormous difference in keeping your connection thriving.
Remember Why You Fell in Love in the First Place
What captured that first spark? What did you bond over? How did you spend your time together? What did you do for fun? Sometimes just reminiscing back to those first moments together can remind you of your infinite connection. Things change and so do people. But if the appreciation and love is still there you can always take steps to improve and reinvest in your relationship.
Communicate (Even When it’s Uncomfortable)
Think about this: Love flourishes in a space where both people feel heard and understood. Poor communication, on the other hand, can wither even the strongest of bonds over time.
Open and honest communication goes beyond “How was your day?” It involves expressing your feelings, sharing your thoughts, and actively listening when your partner speaks. This creates mutual understanding and trust, which are vital to any lasting relationship.
- Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. For example, say “I feel hurt when plans change unexpectedly” instead of “You never care about my opinion.” This reduces blame.
- Practice active listening by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and paraphrasing your partner’s words to ensure clarity.
- Be vulnerable and truthful. Share what’s in your heart—even if it feels hard. Honesty opens doors to deeper connections.
Honest communication doesn’t mean perfection. Arguments will happen, but a willingness to communicate often bridges these gaps.
Express Gratitude Often
Gratitude is like sunshine for long-term relationships. Acknowledging even the smallest gestures your partner makes will make them feel valued and appreciated, which can strengthen your bond over time.
Studies show that expressing gratitude can improve relationship satisfaction significantly. A thank-you for making coffee in the morning or complimenting their choice of movie may seem minimal, but over time, these small acts add up to mutual respect and love.
Simple ways to show gratitude:
- Write short appreciation notes for your partner on sticky notes or in a message.
- Tell them what you love about them, especially after a long day.
- Say “thank you” for simple, everyday things like doing chores or being supportive.
Showing gratitude builds a positive atmosphere, encouraging both partners to focus on what’s good, rather than on perceived flaws.
Carve Out “Quality Time”
With responsibilities like work, family, and personal commitments, it’s easy to drift apart even when you’re living under the same roof. Quality time is the antidote to that drift. Spending time together without distractions (put down the phone!) reinforces your bond and reminds you both why you fell in love in the first place.
But here’s the thing: Quality time isn’t about its duration; it’s about intention. Spending even 15 minutes truly present with your partner can be worth hours spent side-by-side but preoccupied with other things.
Consistency is key. Make “couple time” a non-negotiable part of your routine.
Understand and Support Each Other’s Growth
If there’s one incredible truth about long-term relationships, it’s this: Growth is inevitable. The person you fell in love with is bound to evolve over time, and the same is true of you.
Supporting each other’s individual aspirations fosters mutual respect, depth, and evolution together as a couple. Remember, relationships are partnerships, not cages.
- Ask about their dreams. Initiate a conversation about their personal goals and how you can support them.
- Celebrate wins, big or small. Did they ace a presentation? Complete a fitness goal? Celebrate their accomplishments together.
- Be encouraging, not critical. Even if their goals seem unfamiliar to you, be curious and supportive instead of judgmental.
Keep filling your own tank
Couples can get a little too comfortable over time and sink into mundane routines. Life becomes too easy and mind you a little boring. If you’re not continuing to explore your interests and nurture your own friendships, you will have less to bring back to the relationship. Independence is important in healthy relationships. Not just to keep things fresh and interesting, but for your own personal growth.
Renouned pychotherapist, Dr. Esther Perel explains in her article on Interdependency: “In an interdependent relationship, partners recognize that although a relationship can help meet physical and emotional needs, their sense of self-worth is not wholly dependent on the relationship. Interdependent couples turn to one another for intimacy and vulnerability while maintaining a secure sense of self and independence.”
Keep Doing the Little Things
Never underestimate the value of small acts of love. Over time, habits like holding hands, sharing kisses, or leaving sweet notes can make a huge difference in maintaining intimacy and connection.
It’s the seemingly “little things” that make life with someone special feel extraordinary. A hug when they come home, checking in with “How are you feeling today?” or even sharing a joke can remind your partner that they’re loved.
Small gestures that go a long way:
- Surprise your partner with their favorite snack or drink.
- Send them a loving text during a busy day.
- Keep physical affection alive through hugs, kisses, or holding hands while walking together.
It’s these tiny but consistent gestures that build strong emotional connections over the years.
Go On Adventures Together and Have More Fun
Nothing happens without planning and intention. Take time to sit down and plan more outings and events together. Make a couples bucket list. Try something you’ve both never tried before. Challenge eachother to plan the best date night ever. Keep it a surprise. In fact, surprise eachother more in general. Find ways to keep things fun and interesting. Visit your old haunts and pretend you just met. There are so many ways to reconnect and if you leave your comfort zones you will continue to learn more about eachother and keep that spark alive.
A Healthy Relationship Starts with Daily Habits
Every long-term relationship ebbs and flows, but the foundation of any lasting love comes down to the little things. By prioritizing communication, expressing gratitude, spending quality time together, supporting each other’s growth, and cherishing small gestures, you create a love built to endure. Because truly, it’s in the everyday moments that love shines the brightest. After all, as the saying goes, “The best relationships aren’t perfect; they’re worth it.”
If you are someone who is ready to commit to a long-term healthy relationship, our matchmakers and coaches are here to help you navigate the process and provide you with only the best, curated matches that are vetted and hand-picked specifically for you. Give us a call today!
