During a recent filming of The Daily Show’s Emmy Award winning series, Between the Scenes, Trevor Noah had a conversation with his audience about some online banter he had read about men having less sex than usual and he raised some really great questions about male intimacy, societal norms, expectations and the assumptions we have of men.
As much as we have evolved as a society in our acceptance for more equality between men and women and how we perceive each other, there are still pockets of resistance and long held views and taboos that still need to be aired and discussed in order for us all to be more free, untethered, whole versions of ourselves.
There is a tug of war in the male psyche between wanting that touch and emotional intimacy vs. the fear of vulnerability and rejection. Men want to be able to confide in their male friends the same way women do without feeling weak and exposed.
It’s a bit surprising that in 2022 these social confines still exist. Dating apps have made it exponentially worse. One in four men are “chosen” and usually it’s the same men getting all of the women based on one photo and a short resume. Men already face a large amount of rejection throughout their lives; being the ones who have to approach the woman, generally, not the other way around.
Male and female represent the two sides of the great radical dualism. But in fact they are perpetually passing into one another. Fluid hardens to solid, solid rushes to fluid. There is no wholly masculine man, no purely feminine woman. ~ Margaret Fuller
Here at Kelleher International matchmaking services we have a deep understanding of this as we get to know our male clients on a very personal and intimate level. We ask them to open up to us and let us know who they really are and what they are looking for in a relationship. We can tell you that sex is never at the top of the list. They are looking for someone with a warm smile, someone compassionate, someone who will walk beside them through life, and yes, allow them to be vulnerable and intimate both sexually and emotionally. It’s important to break down these barriers of misunderstandings about men and allow them to be their full selves: Strong athletic warriors, protectors, creators, and also thoughtful, sensitive beings who also need friends to confide in. Men who want to be seen, heard and held on an intimate level.
It’s when we acknowledge both sexes for everything they encompass and aspire to, that we realize the full potential of relationships and partnering.
We’re here to instigate and support these journeys and unions at Kelleher International. Reach out and speak with a team member today to discover the possibilities!