With Molly Davis
In this blog we take a question from a reader of our Newsletter, “Kelleher Connections”, and have one of our Matchmakers answer it. In this installment we’ve tapped Molly Davis, who has been heading the matchmaking team at Kelleher International for the past 14 years. She brings a wealth of knowledge and her sage words are definitely worth a read.
Maria asks:
“Beyond typical compatibility factors like interests and values, what unique or often overlooked qualities do you consider crucial for a lasting partnership, and how do you identify those in potential matches?”
Molly dives deep for a thoughtful approach to the question:
“While shared interests and values certainly lay the foundation for a meaningful relationship, there are more nuanced, sometimes overlooked qualities that add the secret sauce to a lasting and fulfilling partnership.
One of the most essential, and underestimated, is communication style. It goes far beyond whether someone prefers texting over phone calls. It’s about the rhythm and tone of conversations, how each person expresses themselves emotionally, and even the kind of language they instinctively use. Does their communication suggest potential intellectual and energetic compatibility? These nuances create emotional harmony or the lack thereof over time.
Shared humor is another big one. Laughter is one of the most intimate forms of connection. When two people genuinely “get” each other’s sense of humor, it creates a bond that smooths over challenges and adds joy to the everyday. Whether it’s witty banter, dry sarcasm, or goofiness, that alignment can be a quiet superpower in relationships.
Then there’s the idea of complementary differences. While it’s great to have common ground, it’s often the differences that bring balance. Maybe one person is more spontaneous while the other is steady and grounded. One could be focused on providing financially, and the other is intent on creating quality time and experiences. When embraced with appreciation rather than frustration, these differences become strengths that help the relationship thrive.
We also look at future alignment, not just vague “goals,” but lifestyle dreams. For instance, if one partner envisions a future filled with global adventures while the other dreams of putting down roots and renovating a home, those differing visions can cause long-term disconnect unless discussed and embraced early on.
As matchmakers, how do we uncover these subtleties? It all starts with building a strong, trusting relationship with our members and clients. We listen actively, not just to what they say, but to how they say it. We ask thoughtful, sometimes unexpected questions that reveal patterns, preferences, and hidden deal-breakers. We’re tuned in to how they respond emotionally, what lights them up, and even how they react to humor. (Yes, I’ve been known to tell the same joke to
potential matches just to see how each one responds!)
All of these clues help us identify those intangible yet powerful connecting points that may not be apparent on a profile, but can be revealed in our meetings and the feedback we receive. The “craft” of matchmaking is both an art and a science, blending keen observation, experience, and our well-honed intuition.”
Thanks Molly! And if you need this sort of thoughtful approach on your relationship journey please reach out to Kelleher for a free consultation.
